A Somatic Psychotherapy Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, there was a man who went to therapy. We’ll call him Jeff.
One day Jeff was exploring frustrations about his past and his future with his therapist. He craved creativity and direction. He wanted his work to be meaningful and fulfilling. But he felt like something was holding him back.
As Jeff talked about the pull towards new things he leaned forward with excitement. But when he shared feeling uncertain and hesitant, he became tense. His shoulders rounded forward, and his torso collapsed.
Exploring the back and forth between excitement and hesitation, Jeff began to make a gesture in front of his body, two hands out in front of him, like he was holding something.
Jeff and his therapist got curious about this gesture. He felt like he was holding a really big egg. He had to hold it firmly because it was heavy, but he also had to hold it gently because it was fragile. This combination created tension in his body, and he felt stuck.
Sitting with the strain felt uncomfortable and Jeff had an urge to let go of the egg, to just let it drop. His therapist asked him to pay attention to that urge, really check it out, pay attention to his impulse. When Jeff was clear that he really wanted to, he released his hands, letting the egg fall. It splattered on the floor in a big mess.
Jeff felt an immediate sense of relief. He relaxed, no longer having to hold the egg. He considered the mess on the floor. As he observed it, he sensed that it was turning into something he could pick up, like a rubber mat. He imagined picking it up, folding it, and holding it. He felt like what he now had in his hands was something new and different. Something he could work with. Raw material he could shape and mold and craft.
At first this was exciting, but then Jeff began to notice feeling nervous and intimidated. Uncertain. The tension and collapse returned. He realized that he knew how to hold onto untapped possibility, and he knew how to clean up a mess. But he didn’t trust himself to play with the messiness of creativity in making something new. It felt too risky. It felt too vulnerable.
Jeff was familiar with these feelings. He’d been working on them for a good while. He recognized the “shoulds” in the mix that told him it was better to play it safe, that no one really wanted to hear what he had to say or see what he had to offer, that he might make the wrong thing and that he’d better not make anything unless he knew for certain it was the right thing. This list goes on.
He also recognized how these “shoulds” showed up in his posture and his movement. The tension and the collapse, the pushing forward, the hardening around his heart and gut, the impulse to turn and run.
And he knew he could draw from the work that he had already done to relate to the “shoulds” differently. He knew they were parts of himself that just wanted to protect him and help him, and that he could keep growing his relationship with these parts to serve him better.
Jeff and his therapist chose to work on the idea that there was no right or wrong with how he created his life. That things might work out and be great, or they might flop and that either way it was ok. As he let himself relax into the idea that his work was to play and create and above all else, stay engaged in the process, the feelings of excitement that he had first felt when he picked up the “mess” came back.
The tension dissipated and he felt more at ease in his body. He felt more grounded and aligned. Ready for action. He felt a growing energy and a feeling of forward motion that was softer and more organic than the “pushing through” he was more accustomed to. He felt vulnerable in a way that was tolerable and opened him up to his own potential.
Jeff realized that holding onto possibility was protective and safe, but didn’t lead to anything satisfying. And cleaning up messes provided only a temporary sense of purpose and engagement. Instead, what he wanted was to dig deeper, risk more, soak up, experiment, make, move, and discover what possibility might turn into if he let himself get truly messy and creative with it.
And so Jeff lived more happily-with-cracked-eggs ever after.
I share this tale as a window into the world of somatic psychotherapy. For every story of how this work plays out in session, there is another that is entirely different.
I might have shared a story of how someone rediscovered their capacity to set boundaries by practicing pushing against a wall or placed tape on the floor as a “do not cross” line.
Or how someone discovered that they carry sadness in the space between their shoulder and their collar bone.
Or how someone processed a trauma by letting their bodies twitch and shake.
Or how someone moved from a limiting core belief to a new helpful belief as they moved from an object on one side of the room to a different one on the other.
Or how someone worked on regulating their nervous system with movement.
I have had all these sessions, and so many more.
Like Jeff, I consider the willingness to live on the creative edge one of the most important parts of my work. It allows me to be open to what my clients need, to what I have to offer, and to how we can collaborate. It supports discovery of new and different experiences that can catalyze healing, growth and transformation.